Monday, March 16, 2009

How Ironic.

The sky today is rather unfriendly - gray, gloomy, and cold. However, my breakfast this morning was exceptionally cheerful and tropical. I soaked some 5-grain cereal overnight in apple juice and this morning mixed it up with a Fage 2% peach yogurt, a big handful of almonds, and a large sliced banana. I topped it off with some Bear Naked granola (one of my favorite brands), honey and a teensy pinch of coconut just for kicks. It was really quite good - the first time I have ever tried a Fage fruited yogurt and I was quite impressed. This was a totally different twist on the way I usually make my overnight-oats - usually I use a blueberry Chobani with chopped apple, and I have never used both soaked oats and granola. So while its not a huge change, it was some experimentation.

Morning snack was a good one. I mixed apple sauce with cinnamon and vanilla Carnation Instant Breakfast (I know...but we have a whole box from when I was still having a hard time digesting food - my system got pretty fucked up when I hit my low) I heated it up, stirred in about a quarter cup of raisins and added some Dorset muesli and almonds. Yum. This always reminds me of apple pie.

Lunch was an old favorite - avocado and sliced green apple sandwich. I also had some mixed veggies topped with cottage cheese and the remainder of my apple. For lunch dessert, I nuked a Cocoa Mole Larabar in the microwave for about ten seconds. This is one of my favorite flavors ^.^ Its so warm and spicy, especially after its been heated.

Afternoon snack was simple - vanilla Chobani Greek yogurt with two scoops of trail mix and some ground flax. Also another favorite of mine haha. I love my Greek yogurt.

Today has held some rather unexpected surprises. Like a friend of mine from high school called me today to see if I wanted to hang out. I have not seen this girl in about two years. We were best friends, but the severity of my eating disorder and all its accompaniments caused her to become afraid of being my friend. So, like many others, she just stopped talking to me. But we had been talking online through facebook, and I guess the fact that I have made so much progress from where I was is becoming more and more evident, and she actually wanted to hang out. So I figured what the hell, why not? I am still going to be wary of our friendship, but it was really nice to have someone want my friendship again. Most of my friends are guys, and most of them generally want something other than friendship. Not that I really mind, but it makes it hard to feel like I have someone I can talk to. I have one or two friends that I can really talk to, but even then I find myself being afraid of telling what's really in my heart or mind, either because I don't quite trust them, or just because it seems weird to talk to them about certain things. So I really hope that the old friendship can be picked up again and rekindled. It would be nice.


  1. aw thanks for your comment tori, you make me feels tons better as always;) i think its just hard being near the goal weight that they want me to be but that's what this is all about right? you did awesome today and your food always sounds good. i want to try that applesauce thing you had this morning...maybe as a night snack? so inventive jeez. well i hope you have a good time with your friend...getting out feels so good if you make yourself, i've been discovering that lately. you really can get your mind off food if you socialize its just getting out thats the hard part. think of it as a bonus to gaining weight and getting healthy, being able to mingle with people and have energy again without being sickly and tired all the time (or at least that's how i used to feel)

  2. Your food today sounds amazing! Would you ever consider posting pictures so we can see how great it looks?

    I'm happy to hear that your old friend wants to hang out with you! She probably is hoping that the old, fun, pre-ED Tori is back around. I hope that you have an awesome time and remind her why you're such a cool person to be friends with!

    Enjoy the rest of your day!

  3. hi tori :)

    your breakfast sounds fantastical!!! yes - i am definitely a convert to cold overnight oats. but ill have to try adding juice next time. and a few other fun add-ins :) i love your creativity in the kitchen. it is so inspiring how you are not fearful of trying new things. and peach fage is new to me - but i bet it was delicious. your a.m snack also sounds good (i love applesauce & granola warm - it also reminds of me apple crisp) my nutritionist always tries to get me to drink c.i.b. but i cant bring myself to enjoy the taste (it is also fear in general)

    you made a lot of progress today! my friends from high school are no lnger a part of my life either. it really shows their true colors. but that is wonderful that your friend is taking interest in your friendship again. i know it might not seem like it, but it shows that you are becoming more and more comfortable with yourself. i hope you have a great time!

    sweet dreams!
    <3 b