Sunday, March 29, 2009


So today has been pretty good, all things considered. My eating disorder was highly annoyed with how much indoors-time I had today. But yknow what? I ate everything I was supposed to eat anyways. I also made birthday presents for my mom, since her birthday is tomorrow.

Home-made necklace and card. For real, everyone who knows me gets one on their birthday. I've been making TONS of necklaces lately. I do beading and hemp mostly. I should start raffling them off, no?

My breakfast this morning was massive. Not full-wise, but with how many calories I was able to pack into it. 1,010 including my glass of juice. Since I woke up late, this was a huge help. Carnation Instant Breakfast packets and my beloved Soy Vanilla Chai seriously saved the day.

In the mix: Oatbran cooked with cinnamon, CIB, Vanilla Chai shake and half a banana. Topped with BearNaked granola, almonds, dried figs and the rest of the banana. Also cottage cheese with marmalade and a glass of plum juice. This was really good - the bowl wasn't enormous and getting that many calories in first thing made the rest of my day much easier.

I bet you're all wondering about the Starbucks title of this post. Well here it is:

Starbucks Peachy Raspberry Parfait with Granola. I also brought a snack-baggie filled with trail mix, as I knew this wasn't really enough calories...but since we went first thing in the morning I really didn't think I could stomach one of their fancy drinks. I have a hard time with really rich foods, especially first thing in the morning, I always end up with a stomach ache. This was a huge challenge for me, as I have always really struggled with the eating out in public thing. But this went really, really well. I wasn't nervous at all, which was amazing to me. I felt comfortable! It was surprising, but definitly surprising in a good way. I think next time, I'll try for an afternoon snack and get one of those things that I can't pronounce and have never come near before.

Lunch was crunchy peanut butter (PB&Co to be specific) with orange marmalade. On the side there is green beans, tomato, cucumber and cottage cheese. I also had a cherry-pomegranate clif nectar bar. I'm going to miss those - I still can't believe they are being discontinued.

Afternoon Snack: vanilla Chobani with ground flax, dried cherries and a heaping spoonful of Dark Chocolate Dreams. This was another "did I really just eat that?" moment today. It felt so lush, even though I knew it was healthy. But I enjoyed it nonetheless. Definitly something to try again.

Dinner wasn't terrible photogenic. It was a mish-mash of leftovers. Bulgur-hummus-roasted red peppers and spinach salad with olive oil and ground seeds, tuna salad (mixed with peas) and assorted veggies.
I also had a glass of chocolate soy milk and a rice cake with cinnamon raisin PB. It was a whole rice cake, but I cut it in half so I could dunk some in my soymilk ^.^

For nighttime snack - I tried another new one - apple pie oats. Oats with cinnamon bun coffee creamer, cinnamon, brown sugar and a chopped apple. Topped with cinnamon raisin PB and jam. It sounds weird, I know, but it was actually really good.

I'm really excited about tomorrow. I always get super-giddy about giving people gifts, especially ones that I've made. I don't know why, it just makes me feel really good. I'm thinking I might stop in at my mom's work and surprise her with it. Or I might give it to her first thing in the morning. I'm trying to figure out what the best surprise would be. Hmm. It will come to me, I know it. I just really hope that she likes it. I'm a bit nervous that she won't. But at least I know she will like the card, for sure.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend. You all are so wonderful to me - you have no idea how much I appreciate every word of every comment. I know you all say I am inspiring and what not, but you all have motivated me so much in the past without even realizing it. So, I just wanted to say thank you.


  1. That's so sweet that you made those for her! You're quite crafty!
    I'm actually surprised that your breakfast packed that many calories! You couldn't tell just by looking at it! That's something I need to work on...I tend to eat A LOT of lower calorie foods, so I feel like I'm overeating...if that makes sense?


  2. Happy birthday to your mama! Such a cute necklace and card, you must be super artsy. I'm so happy that you ate in public today and felt comfortable! Have fun tomorrow, whatever you decide to do!

  3. hi there again tori... not sure if you remember me. i really like reading your blog :) the presents you made are lovely. are you still considering going to art school in the future? i thought i read that somewhere but correct me if i'm wrong.
    and i know what you mean about giving people gifts! i'm the same. it's very exciting, even more when you make them!! i'm sure your mom will love them.
    take care x

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  5. think maybe your blog is actually my fav :)
    you realy inspire me with your food idea which i seem to have been borowing alot in the last few dayss :)
    im so proud of you for eating in starbucks and not worring about it, your doing so so so well
    love peony xxxx

  6. HI Tori!

    Like you, i am on my road to recovery from anorexia bulimia. It's nice to get to know more people who are in the same boat here in the blog world, because reading each other's blogs inspires us to keep on our track. Hope to be friends with you here in the long run ;)

    Btw, your idea of giving something that you personally made to people is wonderful. First, you get to express yourself in creative ways, which is a great avenue for your self-expression. I realized that this is one of the causes of ED: it is a repressed feeling (anxiety/anger/boredome/loneliness) in disguise.
    Second, it brings you what you have lost because of ED- social life. This is a good way in rekindling old relationships, and reaching out to people once again.

    Just in case you don't mind, feel free to visit my blog at

    keep posting girl! ;)

  7. Happy birthday to your mom! You're so crafty, I'm sure she'll appreciate those gifts.

    All your food looks lovely today! I want your breakfast. Glad going to Starbucks went well! I always feel so stupid ordering drinks there so I rarely go haha. I never know whether I'm supposed to say stuff the stupid American way, or use an accent or what! Once I went there and asked for a cafe au lait and they had no idea what I was talking about...

    You reminded me that I must email Clif and protest the discontinuation of their Nectar bars! They're my favorite. Hope you have a nice Monday! Much love

  8. hey tori,
    happy to hear you had a good weekend and i can so relate to the eating in social places. i sometimes feel like everyone is watching me when i eat! which is so stupid cause why would they??? but glad it went okay for you.
    its so sweet of you to make a gift by yourself for your mum. those are the best presents.
    have a wonderful day today
    lots of care

  9. Happy Birthday Tori's Mum! I think the nicest gifts are always the homemade ones - though I have to say, from one jewellery maker to another (I have toolboxes of beads in my room - I must get back into beading!) yours look incredibly professional.
    Congratulations on the Starbucks challenge - that parfait looks pretty damn good to me! *adds to challenge list* Mmm! *rubs tummy* OK I'm being odd.
    Like others have said, you're doing super well. I love your brekkie and night snack in particular (get the feeling I'm a sucker for oats?) I think it's great you're learning to pack a 'calorie punch' in smaller quantities - it challenges ED so much! xxxxxx

  10. oh goodness your eats are just fabulous!!
    i have never had yogurt at starbucks, but I know what you mean about having a frappacino so much sugar.

    your peanut butter sammie is making me hungry :)