Soo after some discussion with my mumzy dearest, I have realized that purchasing myself a new camera is not something I should be ashamed of or worried over. my mom pointed out that I hardly ever buy anything, at all, even if its something I want. And that in the past few months I have made remarkable progress - so really, why shouldn't I reward myself with something I want and need? Because a new camera is something I am going to need when I start taking courses again in May/June (its a great tool for art courses since you can't always bring everything you want to draw or paint with you)
It always helps to have an outside perspective - someone who understands that this sort of thing is still very hard for me to do for myself, but need to do if I am ever going to grow up. So, tomorrow's mission will be for me to whip out my debit card and use it to buy something for myself for once instead of someone else. I also have therapy tomorrow afternoon - oh goody. I have to bring a snack with me. I used to hate doing that, but I don't mind so much anymore. That must be a good sign, no?
Well, today's eats weren't terribly interesting, but I have been challenging myself nonetheless. ED has this rule - that I must leave that one spoonful of food at every meal. Today though, today I decided to say no more. I feel so tremendously guilty whenever I do that - waste food. And I know that it also throws off my calorie-count for the day. So finally, today I broke the habit. I was a bit nervous, but I told myself repeatedly that it was what I said I would do, what I promised I would do, and that I have never gone back on my word and that ED was not going to steal my integretiy as well. It seemed to help.
My morning snack was a Fage 2% with a large sliced banana, honey, and a chewy almond granola bar that I broke up in with the yogurt. Always a good stand-by.
Lunch was a roasted red pepper hummus and craisin sandwich. Yum. I also had some sliced strawberries, and a cup of raw veggies with extra hummus. Lunch dessert was a challenge for me. I had been terribly afraid of trying a Chocolate Coconut Chew Larabar. I don't know why - the flavor just seemed so decadent and intimidating. So the other day at the supermarket, they were on sale two for three dollars, and the coconut chew was one of three flavors they had. So I figured what the hell? Might as well go all the way with this fear-conquering streak I'm on. I had it with lunch today. Sadly, I didn't really care for it. I much prefer the other flavors - this one just seemed off. Kind of grainy and almost sour. ::shrugs:: I know a lot of people say its their favorite, but its not mine.
Afternoon snack was a vanilla Chobani with ground flax, trail mix, and a box of raisins.. I like my afternoon yogurt, but I think I am going to have to think of a new combination outside of chocolate chips, trailmix, and raisins.
Dinner...ah my dinner. It's been the same thing for weeks now. Bulgur wheat with olive oil, ground flax and hummus. Tuna-ricotta-sweet pea salad, cup of mixed veggies. Rice cake with nutella and orange marmalade (or other jam). Tonight I did add a glass of vanilla Silk with some strawberry syurp. I am super proud of myself though - I am having a totally different dinner tomorrow night.
My snack later this evening is going to be oats with canned pumpkin, cinnamon roll coffee creamer, cinnamon, brown sugar, and more dried cranberries. We have sooo many in the cabinet - like three sleeves of snack boxes. So, why not use them right?
I hope everyone has had a Happy St. Patty's Day! I was a bad little Irish girl and forgot to wear green..::pinches self::: hrmmm I should have just worn green.
The Ebb and Flow
3 months ago