Saturday, May 16, 2009

Friday Nights and Saturday Mornings

Hey all- just really wanted to say thank you so much for all lovely compliments on my art work. It really means a lot to me to get such positive feedback on something that isn't even finished yet. You all brightened my day so, so much. I'm sorry I didn't post last night, I truly meant to. I went out with the boy again though :grin: And I ended up coming home a little after midnight and kinda passed out after haha. But it was a really good time and I'm glad I went out - specially since the anorexic-thinking tends to make me want to stay home at night ("you've been eating all day! you can't go out and let people see you!") But! I wanted to go out so ED-thoughts be damned. He's a great guy and I'm glad to have him as a friend again. Bit nervous because he talked about some day things evolving into more than that - but I am glad that he's not putting pressure on me about it, unlike most. So 'twas a good evening. It was a little awkward though. I met his mom's boyfriend. As I was waling up the porch, one of his dogs jumped on me. Forunately, I'm tall so when I slipped back off one of the steps, I didn't actually fall clear over, just stumbled a little bit. Mom's boyfriend: "You okay? Lucy weighs more than you do! You're lucky you didn't fall right over."
Lucy is an eighty, maybe ninety? pound golden retriever. I have been out of that weight range for several months now. >.< I guess this is just another affirmation to me that increasing my calories again was the right thing to do.

Speaking of that,in addition to my usual accoutrements (CC, toast,jam, juice) here's the glory of yesterday's amazing breakfast:

In ze bowl: 1/2 cup each Kashi Autumn Wheat, BearNaked granola, 2TBS raisins and vanilla soymilk nuked in the microwave, topped with sliced banana, tablespoon of flaked coconut, drizzle of honey and one scoop each of White Chocolate Wonderful and natural creamy peanut butter. Breakfasts like this make me forget I have an eating disorder ^.^

Last night's dinner:

Bulgur wheat with tahini, sweet peas, and corn. Grilled tilapia with lemon-butter dressing, and half a baked tomato (olive oil+rosemary)

Anddd Friday night bedtime snack before going out:

Chocolate Brownie oat bran. Mhmm. 1/4 cup oatbran cooked with a teaspoon each cinnamon and brown sugar, a tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa powder and some vanilla coffee creamer, topped with a tablespoon of Nutella. This was sooo good. Truly like brownie batter, but healthy. I've made this using chocolate soymilk too, but I don't think I noticed much a difference. Perhaps because I use less cocoa powder when I use chocolate milk? hm. That would make sense.

And I don't know what I'm doing the rest of today. I have got to work on the idea of planning in advance, seriosuly. I run around like a nutcase all the time because I'm always making plans like two seconds before I'm leaving the house. Anyways, since I don't know if I'll be posting later here's today's brekkie creation:

Trail Mix Oats! In the bowl: 1/3 cup multigrain cereal cooked in one cup vanilla soy with cinnamon and 2TBS raisins. Added 1/4 cup granola and a tablespoon each of slivered almonds, coconut flakes and creamy peanut butter. On the side I also had toast with cottage cheese and jam and juice (like every other morning of my life)

Well, I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend so far! It was so beautiful out yesterday and now they are predicting more rain and fog again. :sigh: The sunshine is such a terrible tease. I hope soon, it will stay for more than a 12 hour time slot. Hmmph. I'm still crossing my fingers for summer...


  1. I'm so happy to hear about the boy!

    You seem so positive today. This really brightened my morning. Thank you!

    And your eats... delish. :)


  2. Hi Tori,
    I just wanted to thankyou for your lovely post!
    Since then, I have increased gradually every couple of days, and had I not been ill yesterday and today, would have reached my first 'major' goal of 1500cals! I also,FINALLY got my letter from the dietician after a few MONTHS of waiting, so I reckon I'll be pretty much doubling the 1500 soon enough; my appointment is next week so we shall see.
    But, again, I just wanted to thankyou, and again tell you what an inspiration you truly are. I've read your blog every day for the past 2 months and have been CONTINUALLY inspired to keep going and ultimately to realise, if you can do it after all you've been through, so can I !
    Sorry you had to increase again, but you just HAVE to remember how INCREDIBLE you've been and what a trumendous inspiration you are to everyone who reads your blog! Congratulations!!

    Keep on SCHMILIN :D

  3. I love all your eats today. They look so indulgent, yet so healthy.

  4. hey tori, i'm glad you had a good evening with your friend despite the ED thoughts. sometimes going out is the best thing to do, even though it might not feel that way initially.
    well done for keeping up with the increase, it was definitely the right thing to do. you deserve a life doing what you love, not adhering to the torturous rules of an eating disorder. mostly anything is possible if we set our minds to it, including recovery.
    thinking of you,

  5. your eats always look SO amazing! haha I want to come over to your house and have you whip me up a bowl of your classic oats...they look ever so scrumptious! Anyway, really happy to hear about the boy and being able to relax and have some fun that you deserve. Hope the rest of your day wasnt too crazy!

  6. I'm so glad you enjoyed your evening out - you definitely deserve it. Take that, ED!

    Your oats always look so delicious.

  7. So glad you enjoyed spending time with friends (and that your friend isn't pressuring you to take things beyond friendship at this stage) I second others who said that I want you to cook for me - your food always looks beautiful! I feel bad because I completely forgot to comment on your art the other day - it's stunning. You clearly have great talent. Anyway, I hope you had a relaxing Saturday after your night out. Love you so much.