Okay! I cannot put into words how much I love everyone right now! You guys are soo sweet - every single one of your words put the biggest smile on my face. You girls are too sweet and absoultely wonderful. Seriously - I appreciate so much. I don't really have any girl friends to gab with. So you all get to be victim to my boy-ramblings ^.^ I am reeallly nervous about the whole second date thing (tonight btw!) I haven't had a real relationship with a guy in...a long time. Sooo I'm not really sure how it all works but I guess I'll figure it out as I go along haha. Hopefully anyways.
And since some of you had asked, here's what I wore, first date:
Cobalt blue ruffled and banded bottom top. Also a dark khaki skirt that you can't really see...and one of my hand made necklaces.
So! I haven't posted up any eats in what? Two days now? Right. Well here's a few fabulous breakfasts I've concocted in the past few days:
Ginormous bowl of shredded wheat in Vanilla Chai with raisins, banana, dozen or so almonds and liberal spoonage of PB. Nuked all up in the microwave and smushed. Best way to have shreddies in my opinon. Well, that or with Greek yogurt.
And infamous Brownie Battered Oats. 1/3 cup Multigrain cereal cooked 1 cup chocolate soymilk, 1 large sliced banana mashed and melted in topped with WCW. My peanut butter sunk into the oats, making a big pit in the middle of the bowl :(. Vaguely like a volcano, no? On the side there you can sort of see my big blob of cottage cheese and dried cherries, and my fancy schmancy mug of cinnamon bun coffee. As a note - if one is without chocolate soymilk - 1-2 TBS of cocoa powder with a bit of brown sugar + one cup milk of choice will also yield a lovely chocolately bowl as well.
I hope everyone is having a great Friday and taking some time to enjoy themselves. I think something I have finally learned is that before I actually can really love myself as a person - I need to treat myself with love and learn what it means. You don't just wake up in the morning feeling great about yourself and like everything is perfect and peaches. I mean, we all have our good days, but you know what I mean. The negative self image, the harsh and critical thoughts, the disreguard for our own needs - those things take time to work through. But something I think that has helped me tremendously is learning to take time, not even every day but at least a few times a week, to do something that I enjoy and that makes me happy, or something that makes me feel good about myself. And it truly has helped me a lot. I mean - I'm not where I should be in terms of self-appreciation and what not, but I can at least allow myself to enjoy little things (and some big things!) in life without feeling guilty because I "didn't deserve it." I've noticed a lot lately that many of my ED thoughts and feelings are gone. Entirely. I almost never feel the urge to restrict when I'm upset. I don't feel guilt or anxiety about eating. Honestly - now that I've gotten the "real resturant" bit under my belt, I do not expect any more issues with eating out again outside of my indecisiveness. And I believe that all this change started with something so small and simple - doing something nice for myself. It gave me the ability to understand why enjoyment was necessary in life, no matter where or what it came from. Feeling good or happy and doing something nice for yourself, even if its just for an hour, probably is the gateway into self-acceptance and learning to love you for you.
So, what do you guys do that you enjoy? Or feel is something nice that you do for yourself?
Something I do to keep occupied and also enjoy is making necklaces and such. I've been making a lot lately actually. I was thinking about "raffling" off one or two as a give away if people were interested. Any thoughts?
Why Can I Only Love the Broken?
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