So today is my big date with the bone doctor.
I will update with news on that and such when I get home. For the time being, lets hope that she doesn't suggest anything entirely obtrusive to my life and that I am able to stay the whole appointment without having a "Fuck that!" come out of my mouth. Because I'm in a really stubborn and pissed off mind frame at the moment (boy problems? you bet. It is NOT funny to consistently ask about breaking up and then go on to pretend to do it as one drops me off home. And chasing after me as I walk up to my door without saying a word and hugging me and kissing me telling me it was a joke does NOT make it better.)
On the bright side, I might be getting my old job back. And I've decided I want a new tattoo.
Update: So! The doctor says that my bones are already rebuilding from the osteoporosis, and that within the next year or two, I should be well out of the osteoporotic state! Yay. No medications required, just continued nourishment and weight-training should do the job. I am VERY happy to hear this. She also said as long as I don't pull too too many outrageous stunts, I can continue my everyday life as is.
To celebrate, I took myself to the mall and bought some pretty things. In preparation for bad news, I had a super-good breakfast just because, you know, having a good breakfast makes bad news easier to bear. In this case though, I guess the lovely breakfast has become more like a reminder to myself that eating well can and will make things better for me.
Muesli, banana, dried figs, almonds, walnuts and PB. <3 this!
Thank you all so much for your support and all. D made me feel guilty for being upset with him and I was beginning to feel like I had over-reacted. But knowing that you all also agree that it was totally not cool to be consistently asking and joking about that particular topic makes me feel a lot better. :sigh: Sometimes I feel like I am not made for relationships. Its really frustrating because I always feel so awkward and like everything I do is wrong, like I'm constantly making mistakes. I know in time, the insecurity will disappear. I just wish it would happen sooner. Though if there's one thing I have learned, its that all things worth while take time.
Speaking of time, as of today I have been in recovery for fourteen months. Holy crap. That is a LONG time. I remember thinking I'd be done gaining weight within a few weeks. Ha! What crazy things ED causes us to perceive as real and true.
The Ebb and Flow
2 months ago