Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hello hello.

So! A lot has happened in the past few days.
The biggest thing though; I got a job. I am a cashier at Wal-Mart. Again. I'm a bit scared to be honest. I'm nervous about juggling school, work and recovery. Thus far I am doing alright, but I haven't actually started school yet. I shall have to wait and see how it all goes. I'm a bit irritated because I only signed on for something like 20-24 hours a week. I am working 32 hours a week for the next three weeks. Kinda sucks. I'm also a bit upset because on my work schedule, I have myself down for working from 4-10 on Sundays. My hand-written schedule that I received yesterday apparently has me working from 1 to 10. I can do it this week, but on the 30th, I'll be in class till 3PM. So I have the pleasure of needing to talk to personnel about that today. I feel really guilty because I did OK the schedule yesterday. But I was just so elated to be working, and to have three days in a row off every week that I failed to make the connection that I had class. I was literally half way home before it hit me that I'd be in class. I called right away but the personnel women were on their lunch break already. And I called back again later that evening, but I was put on hold and then hung up on. So...I'm hoping that they will not be too terribly annoyed. I mean, I can be there for 3:30PM. So I can still cover most of my shift, its just like two hours that I won't be there. That's still seven more hours of employee coverage that would not have had if I wasn't hired. So...I hope that it doesn't sound as irresponsible and stupid as its sounding to me right now.

Things between me and the boy are good. He's in Hershey Park today. I sort of wish I could have gone along since I sort of miss him, but I had to work. Oh well. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I feel like he sees too much of me anyways. Literally, we were seeing each other almost every single day. So me working is good - kinda forces us to spend more time apart. Even when I don't see him, he spends half the day text messaging and calling me. Its cute, but sometimes I think its a bit much. I'm not used to that much attention from a guy and I feel like I need at least a bit of breathing space. Besides, if he talks to me all day when we're apart, we have nothing to say when we're together. So. This is good. Hah. I love how it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself of this. I really am not a dependent or clingy person, at all. But I really like him a lot - and it feels different than it has with anyone in a very long time. Its a bit nervous-making. Not a bad nervous, but I haven't had an actual relationship since I was like 16 (isn't that pathetic? For five years I've been "that girl" - the one guys call because they feel lonely) so I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. D asked me the other day if I actually liked him, or was just happy to have a guy who didn't use me. I told him I was perfectly content alone and that I hadn't really planned on changing my way of life, and that I wouldn't be exclusive with him if I didn't truly want to be. I think I'm getting a knack for this "talking about your feelings with other people" thing.

I feel kind of bad for not posting about food much lately. But I swear up and down that I have not been restricting at all - I just haven't had time to remember to take pictures. Literally, I have been eating on the fly, in a rush or out and about for the past few weeks. I did make a fabulous breakfast this morning and I wish I had a picture. But I'll give y'all the recipe anyways.

Deluxe Peanut Butter and Jam Muesli:

Soak overnight: 1/2 cup rolled oats, 1/4 cup soymilk, handful dried cherries,1/4 cup Fage 2%

In the morning: Put rest of yogurt into a bowl. Top with oat-yogurt mixture, sliced banana, 2TBS each walnuts and almonds, 1TBS creamy PB and 1TBS cherry presesrves.


  1. That happened to me when I worked at McDonald's. They up your hours because they realize you're actually competent. :P And the managers tend to mess up schedules, so don't feel like it's "your fault." I remember informing them specifically of a doctor's appointment, and they STILL scheduled me on that day because they're not quite with it.

    My boyfriend and I "save our reactions" haha. We know if we talked on the phone, we'd run out of things to say, like you mentioned. So we only call when we want to arrange getting together in person, and that way everyone has their personal space to do their own favorite things plus better in-person conversations.

  2. Life seems to be going great for you. :D I'm now a follower by the way, so I have a bit of past reading to catch up on.

  3. so so happy tori for u that you got a job! it will be great to get ur mind off things $$ ;) and just a new experience..seems like u are really making so many great accomplishments,you have no clue what an inspiration u ahve been to me ever since u started ur blog and i am sure to load and loads more girls too..u are wonderful. and that muesli concoction sounds amazing.


  4. Awww I'm not looking forward to work...
    I know, I'm such a lazy girl ;p

    I hope they are not making you too tired. On a positive note, think of all the $$$$. ^.^

    Recipe sound delish :)
    Oats + Yogurt + PB + Fruits (fresh and dried) = LOVE <3

  5. tori!! this is great news! i am so happy you are working and starting uni. i swear to god now that i am studying i feel so much better about eating and living my life. i feel like i have a purpose and i have the right to be here. and not just be a money-spending-eating-loads-of-food kinda person in the family. i'm sure you'll get the little job problem figured out.
    and to be honest i think it is wonderful that you dont have much to say about your food. it might just have to do with the fact that you have found so many other things in your life apart from food that are on your mind. which is GREAT!! and thats how it should be.
    lets make it work this time for us tori! we can do this

  6. Hey girl
    Im still reading :)
    Congrats on your job!! You definatly do not have to feel bad or guilty if your work colides with school or your recovery. Its life! :) And your boss will definatly understand that. YOU and SCHOOL come before a paycheck.. just remember that :)
    Boys love giving girls attention.. They think thats what you want! haha . But if it does feel like too much, simply tell him. He will understand. Just say you need a day to yourself.. to get calm and collected :)
    you are doing so well!

  7. that is great that you got a job, i am in search of one, ugh noone is hiring, it sucks, but as i said in my post this morning this fro yo place in my mall, pinkies crossed i will get that job, that would be so fun! well hang in there with the work hours, and i am sure you will be able to juggle recovery and school along with work, you are amazing, and can do anything you put your mind to!
    your breakfast doesn't even need a photo, the description itself was enough to make me want it ;) PBJ muesli genius!

    love you

    thank you for all the feedback and support tori it is truly helpful, and i always trust your advice. <3

  8. jobs- always awesome. personnel usually tends to be nice to students, and understand that school is a big responsibility and generally necessary.

    i know what you mean about personal space, and relationships- I'm the exact same way. It takes time when you're so independent. BUt you're also right- you're in this because you want to be! so enjoy =)


  9. Muesliiiiii<3
    I know how it feels to be "that girl" i think that's what I am now tbh...Sucks! I'm so happy for you though, having a job and a relationship and really getting on in life, it's great :D

  10. congrats on the job! just make sure you don't get too overwhelmed and that recovery is always #1.

    also, don't worry about not posting food--it means you are actually shifting the focus in your life onto real things, like love and learning and having fun!!!!

  11. i adore walmart... do you get good employee discounts? or just lots of smiley face stickers - lol. you sound happy. its good to hear.

  12. tori, i am SO elated for you right now! First of all, dont even worry about not posting pics of food. I have been super busy and eating on the fly and living life and not worrying aout a darn photo so dont you worry either. It is SOO much more important that you are just living and enjoying precious minutes of each day. Speaking of life and awesome things, heck yes for the job! Im sure that all will get worked out and that work will be amazing for you. Its going to test how well you can keep up with your body but I think it will be great to learn what you need to do in order to keep that body of yours healthy and happy at all times. And the boy sounds amazing, even if he does call or text a lot. It;s so funny because you and I are SO much alike in the sense of independence and needing breathing space, etc, etc. I think its just what some people experience so dont get down on yourself for that either,

    Keep living it up girl! You are incredible and its so wonderful to see people with such determination for getting back into a life worth living!

  13. I just got back to reading blogs again,
    you seem to be doing SO WELL! It is important to just live life and get back to normality.
    You have a boy!? That is my big :O :O :O
    I am so happy for you! He sounds great, enjoy every moment, love. And don't be scared. Just live it.

  14. Your life is getting 'back to normal', and looking back to where you came from: WOW! And you have done it all by yourself...! Keep going strong and being such an inspiration. And enjoy it!

  15. Glad you got a job, Tori! It is tough to juggle all that, but it is GOOD training for you...Life is meant to be rough, but it sure toughens you up good!

    And YAY that things bwn you and the boy is still going good! Looks like it's gonna stick!:D