So! A lot has happened in the past few days.
The biggest thing though; I got a job. I am a cashier at Wal-Mart. Again. I'm a bit scared to be honest. I'm nervous about juggling school, work and recovery. Thus far I am doing alright, but I haven't actually started school yet. I shall have to wait and see how it all goes. I'm a bit irritated because I only signed on for something like 20-24 hours a week. I am working 32 hours a week for the next three weeks. Kinda sucks. I'm also a bit upset because on my work schedule, I have myself down for working from 4-10 on Sundays. My hand-written schedule that I received yesterday apparently has me working from 1 to 10. I can do it this week, but on the 30th, I'll be in class till 3PM. So I have the pleasure of needing to talk to personnel about that today. I feel really guilty because I did OK the schedule yesterday. But I was just so elated to be working, and to have three days in a row off every week that I failed to make the connection that I had class. I was literally half way home before it hit me that I'd be in class. I called right away but the personnel women were on their lunch break already. And I called back again later that evening, but I was put on hold and then hung up on. So...I'm hoping that they will not be too terribly annoyed. I mean, I can be there for 3:30PM. So I can still cover most of my shift, its just like two hours that I won't be there. That's still seven more hours of employee coverage that would not have had if I wasn't hired. So...I hope that it doesn't sound as irresponsible and stupid as its sounding to me right now.
Things between me and the boy are good. He's in Hershey Park today. I sort of wish I could have gone along since I sort of miss him, but I had to work. Oh well. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I feel like he sees too much of me anyways. Literally, we were seeing each other almost every single day. So me working is good - kinda forces us to spend more time apart. Even when I don't see him, he spends half the day text messaging and calling me. Its cute, but sometimes I think its a bit much. I'm not used to that much attention from a guy and I feel like I need at least a bit of breathing space. Besides, if he talks to me all day when we're apart, we have nothing to say when we're together. So. This is good. Hah. I love how it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself of this. I really am not a dependent or clingy person, at all. But I really like him a lot - and it feels different than it has with anyone in a very long time. Its a bit nervous-making. Not a bad nervous, but I haven't had an actual relationship since I was like 16 (isn't that pathetic? For five years I've been "that girl" - the one guys call because they feel lonely) so I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. D asked me the other day if I actually liked him, or was just happy to have a guy who didn't use me. I told him I was perfectly content alone and that I hadn't really planned on changing my way of life, and that I wouldn't be exclusive with him if I didn't truly want to be. I think I'm getting a knack for this "talking about your feelings with other people" thing.
I feel kind of bad for not posting about food much lately. But I swear up and down that I have not been restricting at all - I just haven't had time to remember to take pictures. Literally, I have been eating on the fly, in a rush or out and about for the past few weeks. I did make a fabulous breakfast this morning and I wish I had a picture. But I'll give y'all the recipe anyways.
Deluxe Peanut Butter and Jam Muesli:
Soak overnight: 1/2 cup rolled oats, 1/4 cup soymilk, handful dried cherries,1/4 cup Fage 2%
In the morning: Put rest of yogurt into a bowl. Top with oat-yogurt mixture, sliced banana, 2TBS each walnuts and almonds, 1TBS creamy PB and 1TBS cherry presesrves.
The Ebb and Flow
2 months ago