Things I have realized in the past week:
I work hard.
I play hard.
I can do anything I put my mind to (including increasing my calories to hault a minor weight loss, despite how busy I am)
I do not ever have to worry about being alone.
As of today, I will have worked about 12 hours over time between Friday night and 9:30PM this evening. Holy shit, right? Here's my layout for the past three days:
Friday - worked 1PM till 10:30PM
Left work. Went out with Daniel and came home at 7AM Saturday morning.
Saturday - worked 11:30 to 4:30PM. Went out for bit. Got to bed around 11PM.
Sunday - went out with Daniel in the afternoon. Worked 4:30 to 9:30. Went over to Daniel's. Came home and went to bed around midnight.
Monday - working noon till 9:30PM. Probably going out again afterwards.
I think I may be taking on too much. Daniel is rather stressing. We aren't technically dating anymore - but as you can see here, it kinda still looks like we are. He's already been asking me today what time I get off of work so we can hang out. He also keeps badgering me about other guys and if I'm going to be dating anyone else some time soon. To be honest, there are at least three guys interested in me. One of them I work with. one of them moved to France for a year to study abroad. And one of them I know from being IP (he was in the depression/SI group). But really - I'm not sure I want to be dating any of them. And I hate that Daniel seems to think that whenever I'm not with him, I must be with someone else. It makes me sad. He's so hard to read. I swear, he was texting me almost my entire shift, every day. But then he says he wants us to be able to be friends. And then he kisses me at the door (and TBH, more often than just that). So I'm kind of like "WTF". I understand not knowing exactly what you want. But its not cool to not even be able to decide on "friends" or "possibly more than friends.". (sigh)
I also have three classes (so far doing quite well in all of them) I seem to function better when I'm doing more. Its like the bigger the challenge, the more able I am to desire and push for success. I've found that I need to eat even more than I initially figured, but I'm OK with it. Hey - more peanut butter and pasta for me? Like I'd really complain about that haha. I feel like this is my final frontier. Learning to live and eat at the same time, and still getting myself to a healthy weight. I can do it. And I will.
Also: I concocted the best chocolate-strawberry smoothie shake you never had yesterday.
~Vanilla greek yogurt
~ Fresh strawberries and ice (or just use frozen strawbs for the same slush-effect)
Blend. Pour into your favorite glass and add a neon pink straw (that's how I do it up anyways!) and enjoy.
The Ebb and Flow
2 months ago