So! After my little blow out the other day, things have gotten infinitely better. I cannot thank all of you lovies enough. I know I haven't been the best of bloggers lately, and I am really, really grateful that none of you wonderful people have held that against me. I truly appreciate every word and you guys never fail to make me smile when I'm down.
On the upshot, here is proof that my lack of posting isn't for naught:
Hell yeah! I made Dean's List this past semester. I'm kind of stoked. Or maybe a lot. But if I can keep this up, I *might* be able to get a scholarship to a 4-year college and go somewhere other than SCSU. Not that Southern's a bad school, but I'd really like to go somewhere that's more than 2-3 towns north....
I spent 3 hours yesterday tearing up tiny bits of painted paper to make a 18"X24" still life in drawing class. When my teacher was walking around the class, she stopped to look at mine and said "Wow, that's amazing Victoria." And in our last class, she declared my ink drawing to be "by far, the most complex and intricately done sketch in the class." I'm sorry if I sound like I'm bragging. I'm just really excited to finally be getting positive feedback on my work. The first few weeks people barely even spoke to me and I didn't feel very confident being there. But I'm trying to talk more often in class and I'm beginning to feel less inferior. Does anyone else ever feel like they have a hard time socializing? I do in school at times. I think its because of how much school I missed due to the ED. I'm entirely aware of the fact that save a few random kids who got held back or didn't pass enough courses, I'm one of the oldest people in the room in a freshman class. Several kids have said that they thought I was 18-19. I'm 21, turning 22. So I did definitely feel slightly out of place, like it was written on my forehead that I was three years behind in where I "should" be for a college student. But you know what? One of the guys in my drawing class said, "I will graduate when its time for me to graduate. There is no real specific age for that anymore." And you know what? He's right. I had planned my life out when I was 17. I was going to move to NY. Graduate from Pratt in 2010. Go on for my masters, get my teaching degree. Find a job in the city and so forth. Ain't none of that happened. And while I've fallen apart many times through the past four years, I'm doing alright. And that's the part that matters. It doesn't matter where you are, just how you got there, and how you're making the most of it.
I can tell you one thing for sure. I may not have good days always, but at the end of the week, I'm still happier than I've been in at least 5 years. And in speaking of making the most of things, here's how we do it when Tori has hit the bottom of the box of cereal and the last tablespoon of PB and has to go grocery shopping before work today:
Plain yogurt, about 1/3 of a cup oats and some soymilk all soaked together with sliced banana, dried mission figs, walnuts, almonds and PB. Plus a drizzle of honey and a cup of coffee with Vanilla Caramel creamer (love this stuff!). This is definitely a kitchen sink breakfast, but hey! Nothin wrong with that.
Tonight is the boy's friend's birthday. Soooo I'll be gettin my drank on after work. Should be good times. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
5 weeks ago