I have a little story for you girls.
Most of the bloggers I know are under the age 26, and live with parents/they themselves have jobs or other situations that provide them with insurance.
But what happens when that situation changes? What happens, when say your father retires and your mother loses her job? And you only work part-time so you aren't eligible for any sort of insurance plan?
Well then my dears, one is left to their own devices.
As an eating disordered person, even after a full YEAR of being recovered - this is still very difficult to do.
After spending an hour on the phone, recounting past health issues and places you've been due to your eating disorder, you will then be asked to wait 7-10 business days while the process your request.
You wait. You wonder. You think about how stupid you were when you were younger - to never realize how hard life after anorexia would be. Its funny. The past that you tried to escape will never leave you, both in your mind and in the paper trail that is the world we know. You can't just move on. You have to be honest in a situation like this, even though you know everything would be so much easier if you did. So you're honest. About everything. From your current height and weight, to the lowest and all years before.
You sit and you wait and you wonder if you had fibbed, even just a little - would it have made a difference?
You get the envelope. Its thin. You say to your mom "I didn't accepted." She looks at you, and says "But you haven't even opened it yet." "Its thin. With colleges, that means you didn't get in."
Still, you tear the letter open and read the standard font.
DEAR MS VICTORIA--
You have been denied insurance coverage for the following reasons:
You have been diagnosed with minor Osteoporosis and are Taking an OTC Calcium Supplement
You have been diagnosed with Anorexia nervosa and were hospitalized in 3/05(not even the right month BTW), 2/08 and 4/08 (I was DISCHARGED in 4/08)
and you currently see a therapist once monthly.
Your height and weight shows you have a BMI of 17 (17.5 to be correct) and that is mildly underweight.
This is another reason why full recovery is so important, and why it is 100X better to get it done with as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the longer the trail and the more red flags to raise when you go out into the real world, and try to take care of yourself. Even after two years since I began my recovery, I'm still seen as an unstable individual by the standards, even after I did it all by myself. I still tried and failed several times before hand. And in certain circles, that's all that they can see.
What really grates me (and I don't care if I get flak for this) are the followng things:
I am being penalized for preventive measures.
I am being penalized for a fucking vitamin that I pay for myself.
I am being penalized for something beyond my control. The fact that had I been that .5 of a point OVER what was considered healthy, they wouldn't have denied me if I had said that I had spent 2 years dieting to LOSE weight. They'd have commended me on my progress and seen it as a sign of good faith, even if I was still a bit over a healthy weight. But because I'm just that tiny bit under, even with the amount of food I eat each day, and how much progress I've made, I'm considered "not yet recovered" because of one flipping half a point.
I'm going to go eat a muffin and think about how I'm going to fix this.
The Ebb and Flow
2 months ago