Ahhh! I am SO happy right now. No school. No work. Awesome!
We had an insane snow storm yesterday. I was legit sitting on my sofa in my fleecies drinking cocoa and thinking to myself "Damnnnnn it better stop before I have to leave for work."
I had to be into work at 2PM. The snow stopped (for about 3-4 hours) at exactly 1:30. I felt powerful haha.
Then we got hit with more snow while I was on my lunch hour. Before I left work last night, my buddy leaving next week for Afghanistan apparently went out and scraped off my car for me. Awww. He appeared at my register and was like "Hey....I scraped off your car for you. I didn't want you to be standing out there in the cold doing it." Isn't he sweet? I think so. Sigh. I'm really going to miss him. We usually get our breaks and stuff at about the same times and such, and it was really nice having someone to talk to.
In other news - I have not gone for a run ALL WEEK. I pulled a muscle in my side and I was a bit nervous that running might have caused further damage. On top of that, my mom had me weigh in yesterday. Now, I figured not running + eating more would = weight gain. But apparently my body isn't cooperating quite that well. I think its going to be a real battle between my metabolism and current activity level in order for me to gain even half a pound a week. But I'm a trooper and it will get done. I've set my mind to this and I will not be deterred. I'll be honest - I'm surprised at how much I still need in order to gain. Like, really, really surprised. But I suppose I shouldn't complain. I do truly believe that forcing myself to eat so much on a daily basis is what freed me of my ED fears, and consequentially, is bringing me closer and closer to freedom from anorexia as a whole. I do question myself sometimes because I do get nervous every now and again when I'm eating so much, but I just keep reminding myself that I'm doing what I need to do for me and MY body - no one else's. And I know that while it was difficult to make the choice - challenging mysel to gain faster all those months ago is what healed me (and apparently my metabolism too). So I need to step it up again? No biggie. And now, on the bright side, I'm really not afraid of anything anymore. I had a dinner of mac n' cheese with broccoli and a York Peppermint Pattie at work last night. I decided to buy dinner just 'cuz its so much easier some days. I did pack and consume snacks for both of my 15 minute breaks. I swear - I actually had one of the guys tell me I ate too much. I told him to suck it and stop hating just cause he was jealous of my ability to eat and not become round. Look on his face? Priceless. It probably wasn't the nicest thing of me to say - but really? I kinda think it was deserved.
And now! Awesome breakfast for the week:
Creamy Banana Bread Oats
Multigrain cereal cooked with cinnamon, 1/2 c. vanilla soy milk, 1/4 cup Hazelnut coffee creamer, sliced banana, and PBCO Cinnamon Raisin PB. I loved this breakfast. The oats were thick and creamy, almost cake-like. And the hazelnut creamer gave a nice nutty sweetness. And of course where can you go wrong with banana and PB? All in all, good breakfast. Nice treat for my awesome entire-day off.
Now I'm off to do Sociology homework (btw I am the only Art major in that class. Everyone else is doing criminal justice, general studies or finance. Awesome!) and do an art project or two.
The Ebb and Flow
2 months ago